My 11th bartholin abscess-tired of this

Assalamualaikum and good evening uolls..

I'll make it short this time..coz, it is short..

It started last week..i pooped, and i feel a bit pain near anus..like before, it always start like that..at that time i remember, i did eat quite spicy food few days before..it might be the cause of the pain..

Few days went by until the 5th day. I started not be able to sit comfortably. It was 3 days ago actually. On tuesday when i need to work halfday, until 4pm. I ate my lunch at 4.30pm. And i cant finish it. It taste fine, i was hungry, but i couldn't finish it. The appetite didn't allow me to. And for breakfast on that day, i only eat a slice of bread.

On wednesday, my offday, i can say that i'm bedridden. 23 and a half hour was spent on bed. The other half hour was to take shower 2 times and to pee. I remember only ate 2 slices of bread for that day. I didn't poop at all, since i ate so little..hhaha..that night i was planning, i should go see the doctor on thursday, to get the medical leave. I'm sure i'm not in good condition to work..that night went too slow..coz the pain was so severe..and i keep touching the abscess in hope it will burst if i put some pressure on it..but it didn't happen..i tried to sleep since 11pm..i did sleep.. but i wake up every 1 hour, to change position..it hurt so bad yo..

Until 5.30am, yesterday, 20/12/2018. I wake up and just thinking, "o Allah, why you give me this pain, i dont want it, please make it rupture" while my hand is touching the abscess..my eyes were closed at that time, coz, well, i'm sleepy yo, but it was too painful i cant sleep. Suddenly, i feel something warm on my fingers, i yell in my head coz i dont want to bother my room ate, saying, " it burst!!!!" I quickly walk fast to the toilet, pull my short pant, the pus was all over the pant already..grayish color..smell sooooooooo bad! I tried pushing my abscess to make sure the pus was out completely while sitting on the toilet bowl. It hurt damn much yo. And i could feel my head was spinning at that time. I stopped pushing out the abscess and stood up. I look into the toilet bowl. There was the color of blood in it. I flush it. And went into my room. I laid on the floor with tissue beside me. I pulled out a lot of tissue to clean the blood that keep coming out from the rupture..lots of them..and i slept afterwards..

At 10am i took a shower and then wore pad because the blood still coming out. Then i went to the nearest private clinic. The doctor was a man. So didn't show my abscess. But there was a part of our conversation that i felt quite funny.

Doc: what type of antibiotic did the previous doctor had given to you before?

Me: cloxacillin

Doc: (looking a bit stunned) are you a medical staff?

Me: (giggle a bit) no, but i did read a lot about it. (Afterward i think i should just said, "i ate a lot of it, almost hundreds of them if not more")

Doc: (smile) this time i'll give you another type of antibiotic then..

Me: ok

It was funny because, i thought, remembering just that one type of antibiotic is nothing..and the doctor even asked me if i was a medical staff..😂😂😂

I get 2 days medical leave..the cost was rm55..o my money

Thats all..

Bye

My 10th bartholin abscess-hell

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Here i am..again..about the bartholin abscess that continue hunting me..

It was 2 weeks ago..about 10 october 2018, i feel a tiny little pain near my anus..it was later after i poop..it always start that way. So i knew it's coming. 10 oct was on wednesday, my offday. On thursday the next day, i went to gov clinic to ask for some antibiotic since i remember my mom asked me when i get the previous abscess saying, "can you try to stop it becoming an abscess by going to the doctor and ask for some med?"..so on 11 oct i did went to see the doctor..there was two doctors. One man, one woman. The man doc welcome me, and when i said, i have an abscess next to my vagina, he ask the woman doc to see it..so she did. But at that time, the lump was barely seen, so, the doc prescribe me some antibiotic (cloxacillin) and painkiller (diclofenac). I went home and continue my life as usual..

Until 16 oct i could feel the lump was getting bigger. And the pain was a lot more than a week before. 16 oct was on tuesday.. i could still do my job very well.. but the next day, the swell keep getting bigger, but i could still walk. Just a bit difficult to sit on a hard place such as plastic chair and so on.

The next day, on 18 oct i went to see the same doc..woman doc. At that time, i cant sit straight. The abscess was on my left, so i sat on my right side. When i saw the doc, i told her, " the painkiller does not work, the pain doesnt go away". She said, " o really? Did you eat it frequently?". I said, "no, just one pill"..the she said, "ok, then i'll prescribe you the strongest painkiller we have, ponstan"..and i get 2 days medical leave after that..i was prescribed with more cloxacillin and another type of painkiller, pontacid.

So, the next day, was quite tough, i barely move. In 24 hours, i spent 23hours on bed..the other 1 hour was for sitz bath with epsom salt in lukewarm water, pee and shower.

So, on 20 oct i should start work, but the abscess dont seem to burst..the night before i was praying for it to burst by itself. If not, i'll need to go to private clinic to lance it, since it was saturday, no gov clinic was open, even if its open, no gov doc would do it..they usually want the abscess to burst naturally..but the pain was so severe. I must go back to work, since my partner, another assistant supervisor will start her offday in the evening of the day. And even she had a fever. I keep google the nearest private clinic. But then i realize, my bank account was almost emptied 😅😅😅..so, i need to think of other way..then i considered going to the ER, but it will surely take time, i'll need to wait longer..and i cant!!!!even laying on the bed doing absolute nothing is a major pain, how come i can handle waiting in the ER? ..so, i keep praying for it to burst by itself.

On 20 oct, morning, i woke up at 7.30am..yeah still early, when i'm getting ready, i feel like pooping..yeah, pooping in the morning, has become a routine..suddenly i get the urge to poke my abscess using a needle. So, i grab a needle, and walk to the washroom. Settle pooping, i take the needle and poke it into my abscess, the pain was not as severe as the abscess..So i'm totally fine.then the needle go through the abscess, i pull it out, but the puss didnt come out. So i poke once again, make sure it was in, and pull it to the side, like opening a zip..AND!!!! the grayish puss came out...lots of them. I feel so good.. then i pull out the needle, use my hand to push the abscess..then the blood came out..lots of them..the water in the toilet bowl turned red, no more puss..when it settled, i came out of the washroom smiling. I can now walk better..

But that doesnt mean my pain is completely gone. I still cant sit correctly. And there was still some swelling down there. I decided to wear pad, to make sure the remain blood or puss was out and not staining my pant.

Until now, on 24th oct, i can still feel the pain, just a slightest pain. But its so, itchy..hmm

I cant help but think about it everyday, 365 days a year for 3 years now..

I hate it..so damn much..

My 12th transfer

Assalamualaikum..

Hai again.. 

On 28th of june i was informed by the hr of the company that i'm being transferred to J1 (kuala berang). I was extremely shocked by the information. Because, i think i'm doing just fine at L7 (marang). I asked my incharge through whatsapp, it was in the early afternoon. But she didn't reply. I cant concentrate doing my job at the moment. I have mixed feeling. I feel angry. Why me off all people under her? I keep thinking..now it's harder for me to go back home since the bus trips to kuala berang are not as much as to marang. And...i'm not going to see my crush anymore 😂😂😂..

So, back to the story, at 7pm, my incharge suddenly appear at the branch (marang). She put her belongings at the counter. I was rearranging kurta near the front door at that time. She came near me, and i walked to her. I need explanation!

I ask her straightforward. "Why am i being transferred to j1?". I got various answer from her. Firstly..

1) the assistant from j5 (pasir puteh) is from kuala berang, the other assistant who is currently working at j1 also from kuala berang, so it is not fair.

2) the assistant who was previously working with me in marang is from kuala ibai, she's also new to marang. She previously working at j5 (pasir puteh). She came to marang mac 2018. So she's new. There's a lot to learn at the branch. Besides, my incharge said, she can barely see her contribution to the branch.

3) she said, she originally planned to send me to z1 (chabang 3, kuala terengganu), but the sales there is too low, i will have nothing to do.

4) she said, my performance is good, she want me to try saving j1, because j1 good management is a disaster. The sale keep going down.

She said, i'm not going to be here forever. She will see this branch performance after two months, if everything is fine, she will send me somewhere else. Wth.

And today is my 5th day in kuala berang, i've seen the store of this new branch, like i said before, it's a disaster. I need more time to rearrange things in it. Everything!!!!

But, it's fine. I'm sure i can do it.

The first day i was here, one of the staff from previous branch, messaged me. Asking me to go back to marang. Well, i dont trust her, from the beginning. She use to badmouth me to the supervisor that i talked to other staff, but not her. She don't know, we are bestpartner ever! So the supervisor reported it to me. Starting from that, i never believe her..ever! But, as a human, i keep replying to her messages. Lots of negative messages about the other staffs and the assistant. On the next day, the assistant messaged me saying..

She: kalu oyak kan, kato nyapa pulok.

Me: apo dio

She: 😏 (the emoji she gave me)

Me: ado gapo ni sebenarnya? Bengong nga gini doh aku ni.

She: sorry ore salah

Me: ok

Few minutes later, she send email to my branch (kuala berang). It was regarding some work i did at her branch (marang). I cant see anything wrong with it. So i whatsapp her.

Me: bakpo hantar emel tu? Ado masalah gapo2 ko?

She: saloh send.

She: salah ata

Me: ok

It was really weird. I feel like they are talking bad about me. Well i'm not telling you that a good assistant supervisor. But i did try my best when i'm working. I need to correct any mistakes done by the staffs. But, i'm extremely sure, not all people can accept my way. But it was all work. I have nothing about personal matters at all.

I keep ignoring the rude answer i get from the one and only problematic staff there. I ask nicely. I even control my tone to make sure my word didn't hurt her. But it is useless. She keep giving me rude answer yet again. I ask her twice about this matter, "do you have any problem with me? Why do you keep answering me that way?" But, also twice the time she answer, "no, i have no problem with you". Then she become normal for a few days. Dyas later, the rude version of her, come back. I got fed up. No more. I'll just give you cold reply too then. No biggie.

I have no problem being a cold person, since i was once a cold person too. Its just that, these few years, i realize, i need to make change, so i change myself, i'm becoming more positive than before.
And the best thing about me is, "i love ignoring my own feeling" .. i know i'm hurt, but i ignore it. I know i'm tired, so i sleep, i know i'm craving for sweets, so i buy it. Ermmmm..guess i dont really ignore it then..

Emmkay..till next time, bye!

My 9th bartholin abscess

O hello people~~~

I mean..Assalamualaikum..

This is story about my current abscess..my ninth bartholin abscess..

5days ago, i feel a slight pain near my vagina. And i know it's coming. I cant do anything to stop it from growing bigger. Can i? Until the third day.

The third day, i went to work as usual, but my movement was already limited. I cant stand for long, i felt a sudden cold, and sudden sweat. I asked my incharge to let me sit when i feel like it. And she gave me the permission. Well, i even take my break at the store, when it is actually forbidden for you to take a break in it. Is it?

Day 4. I still went to work. Because it was my partner offday. If i went to the clinic that day, i would definitely get a medical leave. And that means she need to work. And plus, she's not in terengganu. She went to see her future in laws in kelantan. This day, most of the time...i'm in the store, laying on the floor, with telekong under my head and finding the right position with the least pain. I feel useless that day. But, what can i do? I dont ask for it. Many times, i tried to make round in the shop but ended up i go back to the store to lay my back on the floor, i cant put pressure to my lower abdomen. + i'm so obese. At night, it's about 8.50pm, i go out of the shop with bread,  painkiller and a bottle of water and sit at the corner of the shop. I eat a slice of bread, then take the pill and drink the water. I call my mom, telling her that i'm having an abscess. And i start crying. Some people see me crying at that times, but, who cares?

Day 5. I planned to go to the clinic, so i did. I went there at 8am. Quite early for a latebird like me. Well my incharge want me to open the shop and bring down the cash deposit before leaving. So i need to make sure i can do that after i go to the clinic. Then, at the clinic there were extremely lots of people until 10.15am. I told the nurse at the reception that i need to go out and come back later. She said, to inform her when i get back. My number is 1018. At that time it is 1012, so near yet so far because one patient may take longer time meeting the doctors for, i dont know, maybe treatment, ask for prescriptions, well. I dont know. So i went back to my shop, open the front door and i just cant stand still or sit. I ask the cashier to take the deposits upstairs. Cause i cant move much. 10.55am i went back to the clinic. I takes about half an hour until my number was called. So i went to see the doctor. Not so friendly doctor. A Female doctor. She saw my abscess and asked me to take the blood test. Came out my wbc count was 29 when normal people should have only 6.0-10.0( i asked my m.a friend, iqa). She want me to go to the hospital. But i said to her, " the last time i went to the hospital, i was told to go home, and let it burst by itself. I'll be fine if you just give me medical leave :)". She said okay and cancel booking for ambulance to take me to the hospital. Then she said, "i'll give you a pain relieve shot first before you go out". And of course, i was fine with almost everything. So, i take the shot on my butt, went home and sleep with less pain. It was yesterday actually.

So, in the evening of the 5th day, the pain relief start to fade. I started feeling pain again. I cant even walk like a normal person did. At night, about 9pm, the pain got severe, i cried so much, but then i think, "heyyy it's useless, stop it". I stopped and find the correct position to sleep. I wake up every 30 minutes, touch the abscess in hope for it to burst, but it did not. So i continue sleeping until 12.45am. I wake up because of the rotten smell. I touch my abscess. It punctured! I quickly went to the bathroom and tried to let out the puss. A lot of them! And then i went back to my bedroom, use another bed, put a lot of tissues on it and tried continue sleeping. But i cant. The puss keep coming out. So i use my phone until 4am. And i sleep comfortably until now.

Thats my 9th experience with bartholin abscess.

Thank you so much staf klinik kesihatan marang. Semua baik. Yang kat farmasi tu siap bagi salam lagi masa aku nak ambik ubat. Yang kat tempat amik darah tu siap cakap terima kasih lagi kat aku. Padahal aku la patut cakap terima kasih. Tapi aku cakap jugak la. Akak nurse tu jugakla  yang teman aku naik ambulans masa first aku kena tahan wad tahun lepas.

Thank you so much kakak2 abang2 sekalian.

My new partner

Assalamualaikum..

Hai bebeh!

I work halfday until 3pm today. So now, i'm on my bed, resting so hard!

Well, the previous post was about my ex partner resigned. But now, it's about my new partner. Named Yana.

She's the same age as me. 26 years young. She's from Kuala Ibai, Terengganu. So she stay at home. Not with me. So, i'm saved.

So, i'm still a free woman who can wear whatever i want.

I can sing as loud as i want.

I can go anywhere or anytime with the motorcycle.

Well, there's something triggered me to write today, to be honest.

Last night, i reach home at 10.30pm. It was friday. I stay hungry from 2.30pm until 10.30pm. So...hehe.. when i reached home, i eat some fried mee with grilled honey chicken bought by my staffs. Then, without changing my outfit, i sit on my bed and slowly feel sleepy. And i slept until the next morning.

That was actually my first time ever. I never sleep without a proper shower (exclude the palapes training). But i'm sure, it was because of my tired mind. I'm pretty sure about that.

The cause are??!

1) 8 staffs keep asking me about various kinds of questions regarding their duties.

2) my partner need to learn everything from me, so she also keep asking me lots of questions. It did not make me angry a bit, but you can feel the bigger responsibility when you are the only one become other's reference.

3) minah michelle (orang bahagian account kat hq) marah aku sebab tak tengok info yang dia tulis kat skype..ayat dia "u supervisor banyak teruk, i mesej u dari pukul 4.29pm, sampai sekarang u tak balas i. I akan report u ar". Dia mesej pukul 4.29pm, beberapa minit sebelum tu aku dah nyah dari meja skype, sebab tugas aku bukan dok ngadap skype tu je. 1 kedai aku kena tengok, termasuk tandas. 4.38pm yana 1st time lapor diri ke cawangan tu, so aku kena explain setiap benda yang ada dalam kedai tu. Ingat boleh settle dalam 10minit ke? Ngek.

4) mungkin sebenarnya mental aku tak stabil, tapi aku yang act like nothing happen.

5) mungkinkah sebab pattern tidor aku yang tak elok untuk kesihatan??

6) semalam aku mimpi tanam pokok. Sebab dah plan nak menanam petang ni..tapi sempat tanam kangkung dengan daun kesum je..cili lupe 😅

Lapar la weh..

It's 9.04pm 14th feb 2018 now..

Ok bai