Assalamualaikum. Wbt.
Dari Allah dia datang, kepada Allah dia kembali.
She is my cousin. 15 years old girl. She died yesterday at 5a.m at HUKM due to severe skin condition. The worst part is, her liver, brain and one more organ (i cant recall), had damaged. Even her eyes turned to yellow. She was in coma for many days and stay on bed unable to move for more than 3 weeks. Her mother told me last night, her body full with needle scars. There are two holes on her chest, a procedure done by the experts to save her of course.
Before i knew she was sick, i always thought she was a cheerful, active healthy girl, contributing in sports in her school tournaments and others. She talks well. Better than me. Well of course she cant speak English. And cleverness is not decided by the ability one can speak or understand english. Hehehe.
She is a good sister to her siblings. Truthfully, i dont really like her. And i have my own reasons. But i'm not here to talk about her bad things.
I'm not sad of her death. But i do tried to think, "what if i'm at her place now?" "What would i feel?" "Will people come and kiss me on my forehead too?" "I want to live longer than everyone" "i want to die peacefully" "i want to die embracing Islam as my religion" ..well, i fear death.
Wait..thats not what i initially want to type. Hehehe..
It her siblings.
Well, azihan has 4 younger sisters (mahani, iman,fiqah and the youngest not even 1 year old, ain)and 1 younger brother(azim).
I stare, i mean i looked at them, when they arrived at my house yesterday at almost 7p.m. mahani who is in form 1(i guess) looked calm(she was always calm, but with more smile on her face,this time, no smile).Azim look more relaxed than usual(he was quite big build, and really funny boy), iman looked, well, like a thinker. She is just 5 or 6 years old girl. What more could she thinks. Fiqah is 2 or 3 years old.
Mahani is more well behaved compared to the late azihan. She saw me wiping my tears. I cried after i kissed azihan's forehead. She saw me wiping my tears again after the face of late azihan was tied with the piece of white clothes(covering all her face). Then she came to me, and she hugged me. I was standing across the late azihan. Well, i am not someone who like hugging. My parents dont do that to us. It felt weird. But, when mahani hugged me, i hugged her back. It felt calming. One day i will hugged my husband tightly!!!!hahahahaha.
Iman, she used to be so talkative. She used to show me her skill in storytelling two years ago. But long after that, i'm not sure what have i done, she always said to me, "you are ugly, your attitude also ugly".. well she was 4 or 5 years old at that time. My heart beat so fast, i'm mad. But dont do anything to her, of course. I told myself to be calm. Be patient. She's just a toddler. But this morning, she asked me for some water. She talk nicely. And when i'm doing some dishwashing, she come to me and stand beside me. I asked her, "want to help?". She said,"yes". Well, i'm quite shocked at that time. I thought she would hate me forever. And she had done her job helping me with the work very well, and her father saw us too. At that time, he just come back from the grave.
And mahani slept with me and my sister last night. I saw her using the microsoft office powerpoint. I saw the title "kakak tersayang" or "my lovely sister". I think a lot at that time. She must feel the lost. But she know how to hide it. She looks tough.
Hope that the family will stay stronger.
Hope, courage, strength. Together we can do it.
